Day 1 P90X Begins!

So here we go.

I am so excited about doing this.

A little history about me. I have a 15 month old daughter. Ever since getting pregnant and having a baby I am not happy with what I see in the mirror. Before I got pregnant I had worked out a with an amazing but pricey personal trainer, Micah Lacerte of Hitchfit.com. The success that I had working out with him was so exciting. I cannot recommend him highly enough. But here's the thing...my entire life has changed since having my daughter.

The very day I returned from maternity leave I was laid off. That morning, walked in the door, into my office (Project Operations Manager) and was immediately called in and let go. "Not my fault. You're an excellent asset. We hate to see you go. You will be such a great addition to any company" Blah blah blah....I was the last Ops Mngr in the company and they didn't like that I had taken an extra month of maternity leave due to my c section. I was scared, a new mom, living in a very pricey loft in the city...it crushed me.

Long story short, I ended up moving in with my daugther's Father, a wonderful man...but we had to put everything on fast forward to make the right choices. I definitely began feeling depressed, unmotivated, sad....FAT. Instead of working to lose the weight, I just ate. I didn't gain any weight, but I was up late at night, getting hardly any sleep, didn't have any energy and worrying constantly about my life, our lives, and the future. I am not eating a lot, or constant junk...my metabolism is so slow...sigh. It is so frustrating the changes my body has gone through physically.

Sure, I want to be a certain size, or within that range, but most importantly I want to be STRONG.

We discussed me going back to work or staying home with our daughter. In the long run the choice was made this spring for me to move into his home and raise our daughter and his son. Money is tight for the first time, and I have found myself struggling with one worry after the next.

For me, a type A personality, I can tell I'm headed in the wrong direction fast. So here we are, and I still can't fit into my clothes I wore before the baby was born.

My biggest struggles:

1. Lack of Energy
2. Lack of Motivation/Depression
3. Boredom
4. Stress

It is hard to get moving even when you really really want to if you feel like you've lost your sense of self.

So recently, because going back to Micah is not a financial option for me right now (wanting to launch a photography business, planning for the future) I talked with Dan, my daughter's Father and we have decided....P90X!!!

This seems VERY similar to what I did with Micah. Constantly changing it up, muscle confusion and so on. I think having a partner to motivate each other since we are doing this at home will really help.

I have decided to blog to help with the accountability factor and the fun of writing about the experience.

We plan on going on vacation in late October, roughly 2 weeks from our 90 day goal and I'm so excited to see where we will be physically.

This is exciting, scary, and oh so exciting. I don't want to fail. I do not want to start this and somehow along the way lose my motivation. I do not want to feel like a failure any longer, because it seems like I am being too hard on myself in all areas of my life. For me, I need to be healthy physically, active and strong. This sedentary life of the last year is NOT working for me.

For me to be the best mother, best partner, and best version of me, I need to incorporate fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Before it gets to the point where I just implode, and become a version of myself that causes misery because of the suffering I feel on the outside.

SOO, tonight, we start our first session. And I will blog about each session as it happens and our progress.

HERE WE GO.....3 hours until the workout and counting....!